This is an introduction, which you must read to understand what happens in my head and why I follow the format I do when composing articles.
It's time for a bit of history:
On Friday, March 13 2020 A.D. I watched a video put out by my pastor, Shaun, concerning church closures. One of the Items he mentioned was that if we needed help, don't be afraid to ask. Sensing impending cabin fever, I emailed him thus:
Trevor <email> Fri, Mar 13, 8:02 PM to pastor
*disclaimer*This is Trevor the Younger.
(refers to an older, more responsible Trevor in the congregation) *end of disclaimer* .SO. We watched your broadcast about church and the CoV-id. You said if we need help, ask. I am asking. Begging. Pleading. Groveling on the gravel. Because. SCHOOL IS CANCELLED FOR SIX WEEKS I WILL BE STUCK AT HOME WITH MY MOTHER AND SISTER FOR SIX WEEKS DAD DOESN'T GET BACK FROM MEXICO FOR THREE WEEKS Now don't get me wrong, I love my sister and mother. But sometimes things can get a little tight, especially in my father's absence. My angel of a sibling isn't all that she seems at church. We don't always...get along in brotherly love. Have you read "Lord of the Flies" by William Golding? It's a great book. But it makes a very strong point. If we can learn anything from Golding at all: I'm afraid things may... deteriorate I don't know what the church can do for us. I don't know how I will survive. That's why I'm asking you in good faith, Pastor, to GET ME OUT OF HERE!!!!!!!! Or something, I don't even know what. Warmest, most sane regards, ..............................(for the time being) Trevor
Ever since that day, I have tried to write a satirical article about the events of the day.
They all follow similar format.
The "You know the drill," refers to a stereotypical letter closing.
These posts are best read in chronological order, I refer to things that I have explained in past posts frequently.
So,
Read on, my wayward fan.
You know the drill,
Trevor
big head, i impressed.