March 15, 2020
*note*
Today's update is coming over text, I am unable to access my laptop at this time. Apologies for said inconsistency.
Welp!
Today
Was
Uneventful, for the most part.
I woke up
Got out of bed
Cleared the build-up of phlegm from my sinuses
(I am suffering from a nasty cold...Coronavirus??? Possibly. On that note it's not biblical to infect people, animals, or property with said pandemic. Ah, doubting Seamus, [See what I did there (not gonna lie I have no clue how it's pronounced so if it doesn't rhyme... :-\ [my phone doesn't have those fancy curly-q parenthese-brackets, so I'm stuck alternating between "(...)" and "[...]" ])] in Exodus 20:17 [The Message (adapted by T. S.)] it says "You shall not CoV-ID your neighbor's house. You shall not CoV-ID your neighbor's wife, or his male or female servant, his ox or donkey, or anything that belongs to your neighbor." IDK about your neighbor himself or your own possessions, but it's best to play it safe and wash my hands.)
(INSIDE JOKES EXPLAINED: the following text refers to our live-streamed sermon wherein 200-odd lb PASTOR had some technical issues. His mic was buzzing horribly. Because of his stature, most modern cars are designed to fit someone his exact size perfectly, which is a tidbit he's shared multiple times)
Whatever it is, it's giving me this nasty cough. No fun at all.
Then I put away the dishes. (meh)
After that, a family from church arrived.
(Yay) We got our tv hooked up to mom's laptop and put on this reality TV (does the inconsistency annoy you?) show where some poor 5'10 180lb pastor (who used to work for Honda as a test car-sitter [minimum wage, that was his call to ministry]) had to preach an entire sermon blindly to a government-size-regulated live studio audience of less than 15 and a small insignificant electronic box barely visible on the back wall. He did pretty well, but he did have one weird quirk he must have picked up from the metal band that headlined. As soon as he got on stage, the fella started BUZZING! and when I say buzzing! I mean like BUZZING buzzing. You could barely understand the guy. At first we thought he was speaking in tongues, but a quick Google affirmed that "fly in a window" was only found in services of certain Eastern Orthodox (that's where the word "Easter" came from, but that's a story for another time) churches where the man upstage had had a little too many holy spirits (or "rejuvenate" essential oil in one case study out of a congregation in Manitoba who were primarily homeschooling naturist families). But we use grape juice, so it must've been nerves. It resolved itself after a while. The rest of the services proceeded without incident. Then we ate lunch.
(Again no incident)
Some hours later sunset came
(With no incident)
I drank two tall glasses of water
(With no incident)
And went to bed
(We'll see about the incident in the morning)
PASTOR, I don't know how much longer we can hold out. Things are bound to get worse.
Sanely, at the moment,
You know the drill,
Trevor
Comments